Travels of an itinerant bastard: Pattaya day 1

Day 1 in Pattaya

What a crazy place. I thought I would head here because I have been almost everywhere else in Thailand. It has the reputation of being just like a papaya salad, except made out of dog shit with a condom on top. It doesn't disappoint.

The initial look at the beach as we approached Pattaya was nice. I thought, wow, I don't know what people complain about. Then we got to the town. The water is full of boats, jet skis and is that particular shade of brown near the shore line that makes it unappealing to swim.

The ride from the bus station to the hotel was easy, pickup truck with seating in the back delivered me safely to my hotel for 40 baht. You just have to wait till it is full, which doesn't take long. My hotel is a bit of a hovel though. It is down one of the small soi (streets) that come off the walking street. There would be about 10 bars of the beer/go go variety within 20 meters of the front door. The good news about this is I can literally stumble home after drinking way too much. The place is called Diamond Beach Hotel, and I wouldn't recommend it. I asked the hotel for a wi-fi chit as I checked in as they don't provide this for free. They said "Don't have, can you come back tomorrow". I looked really puzzled and said "Sure, my work isn't that important". The porter that brought my bags up foolishly asked for a tip, I said "The tip I can give you is to have wi-fi cards ready for your guests". He seemed hurt .... I didn't give a toss.

Dropping my stuff in the room, I headed out into the wide world. Needing to find that ever present 7-11 to grab some water, because zero is provided in the room. I decided to continue on and look at the walking street area in daylight to map out where I was likely to eat and take pictures from.

The walking street at 2PM is a sad sight. Closed or barely open bars trying to attract customers. Workers of the bars sleeping everywhere and the distinct smell of dried vomit and urine in the air. I thought this place could do with a wash! I wandered as far as the pier in one direction and just marveled at the amount of go go bars in the area. Oh well, this is Pattaya. Slinking back the other way I caught sight of the main beach. Wow, will post a picture in the next update as this has to be seen to be believed.

Too hot and finding little to do except wander through malls I headed back to the hotel for an afternoon shower and siesta. When I woke up again it was getting dark and pouring with rain. Thank god I thought! The walking street is kinda getting a wash!

I waited around till about 9 before heading out. What a collection of horrible ladies. None of which I would call particularly stunning. Which is odd, because there are usually one or two and I often think, working in a red light district, is that the best you can do? I could get you work as a model! But then comes the realization that you are dealing with bar girls. Easily the laziest people I have every meet, and I live in Cambodia!

Camera in hand I ventured up and down the walking street taking a few photos, looking at the sites and thinking "Oh yes, have seen it all before ... YAWN". Didn't take me long before I was bored and need of food. I came across a seafood and steak place and thought I am in! I ordered rock lobster and steak, the menu described it as Surf and Shure. Turned up and was way to expensive for the quality that arrive. Got to remember tomorrow, don't eat on this street!

Unsatisfied with the dinner I started wandering again. Saw a bar with woman holding signs up. One of them said "Sleep with me and get a free breakfast". Hardly a compelling sales pitch as I have free breakfast at the hotel and don't have to share it with anyone. However, it was better than the "Fist my ass" sign next to it.

Oh well, more wandering and thought screw it, enough photos for the first night. Need a drink. Sat down at a place called "Carousel" where you sit on a revolving platform. Whatever. Ordered a drink and a girl almost vaulted the bar to sit beside me. What's your name ... what you do ... where you stay ... where you from ... Oh I love you my boyfriend, buy me a drink!!!!

If only the girls would vary the routine I think they would be at least a little entertaining. Played the dice game for a little while and brought the lucky girls a drink. I also managed to score a few free drinks because I one a few times! The reason they have games like connect four, the Jackpot dice game and pool is that the girls that work there have limited English and personality so are unlikely to keep someone entertained with their sparkling wit!

Anyway, few too many drinks later decided to head home. "Oh, but I don't want you go!" came the howl of protest from the bar girl. I bet you don't, I am not blind drunk enough to think you are my girlfriend. "Bye bye I said" and off ambled off to the skanky hotel room. Tomorrow, Real bar! Real food!

Anyway, on to the pictures.